Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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