I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Houston, we have a squirter
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My dick has a subreddit
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
