fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
