need another drink. this is the easiest way
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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