they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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