I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Randomize
