I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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