I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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