For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
