I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
