We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
