She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
