Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
