Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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