you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
