It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
