Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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