...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
