There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
