I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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