i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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