It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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