you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
