Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Your tits are I can't wait for
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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