your room smells of hookers.
And success
one two three fourrrrnication!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
