After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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