Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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