Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
