sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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