Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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