i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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