worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
