it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
