I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just had sex on a roof
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
