Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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