Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
