idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
