i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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