imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
