i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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