Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
