Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
