NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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