Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
What a fucking waste of an outfit
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
