1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
