There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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