i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
