We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
