it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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