There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This house was built for laser tag.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
